Charlotte Journal: Back to Japan 10/31/2014

Charlotte Journal　　2014.10.31

Two years passed since I came to the US in October 2012. I have been writing about the life in the US almost every month, and this is my final issue. I will go back to Japan in November 2014. Two year’s living experience in the US has changed me a lot, and I’ve got the guts to face different culture. Iam no longer afraid of the people who speak English. I don’t hesitate to ask questions. I’m not surprisedat seeing the people who look different. These may be natural things for some people, but they were the challenges that I had to overcome. I had a complex about my English that I can’t speak fluently. I wasembarrassed about being ignorant and shut-in. I wanted to change myself, prepared conversation topics and motivated myself to speak. I gained self-confidence when I spoke well, but the confidence I gained would shrivel in the next moment. I was gradually relieved from my inferiority complex as I gained living skill or as I got less sensitive.  Or, I might have just understood my limitation. I have come to think it natural that I don’t understand everything. It is also natural that I can’t speak well. It took me two years to overcome the fear to get in different culture.     When I travelled to NY the other day, I took a tour bus to see around the city. There was a guide on the bus, and she was a middle-aged Chinese woman (probably living in NY). She tried hard to explain the touristic spots with a lot of gestures when the bus passed by them. But her English was not good at all. The passengers looked at each other with puzzled, and the children were giggling. Indeed, she spoke with a strong accent, but it was still understandable. I was encouraged as I listened to her speech. Ithought that it should be fine if non-native English speakers don’t speak perfect English - as far as we speak in a sincere manner. I had been trying to speak English with correct grammar and correct accents. I was embarrassed when I made an error. I got upset and would lose track of what I was talking about. I still experience this confusion, but I’ve got used to the feeling and I can keep myself calm. I have learned many things from the life in the US, and it was my greatest result that I had this “experience” to manage the confusion and communicate.     I had a lot of support from many people in Japan and in the US. I would like to express my tanks to those people and conclude my Charlotte Journal. Thank you very much.